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Talent contests, beauty pageants, sports competitions.

The Olympics.

An audition for a role, tryouts for a team, a job interview, a promotion, so many reality show talent contests, and even dating websites.

All involving a panel of “judges” telling us where we rank.

Where we fit.

Or don’t fit.

Where we belong, or don’t belong.

Thumbs up, or thumbs down.

A wink, or no wink. Some tell us to simply go home, not this time, or dream another dream, because you are not talented enough, or don’t have “it” for this dream, for this job. The buzzard sounds, the gong GONGS, no medal or trophy for you, pack your bags, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. You feel your dreams are shattered.

Okay enough drama.

The reality is we do put ourselves out there for judgement. It’s the only way to achieve what you want, put yourself out there, climb higher and take your chances to achieve what you desire.

Judgement, it’s a part of our daily lives. I don’t think we realize how much judgement we are faced with every day.

I can tell you I never realized it until I was told, uhhhhhh, forced into looking hard at my life and JUDGEMENT in particular.

As my gift ascended over the last couple of years, my spirit guides gently guide me to take a hard look at many aspects of my life. (I originally wrote they “force me”, but they “gently guided” me to rephrase the word “force”). We have free will. So, yes, they (ahem), guide me.

I have worked very hard on looking hard at how I judge, why I judge, who I judge, and how I judge.

Every layer I peel away, every time I go deeper I learn something new. It gets harder with each layer, but so worth the dig.

We’ll come back to judgement in a bit.

First, I’ll try to explain how it works with spirit, and how they guide me. As I mentioned in my first post, I receive messages, my lessons for the day. Each lesson will ultimately bring me to a greater understanding and ascend my gifts, and ultimately my soul.

Sometimes I’ll ask for the lesson, sometimes the lessons are right there in front of me. But ultimately we always ask, when we ask God any questions. When we pray. What, when, who, why? If you listen, you will get the answers, as I wrote in my last post, The Art of Listening.

My guides and I work pretty well together, they teach me, I learn from them. Even if it takes me a couple of days, weeks or months to learn a particular lesson.

So, instead of waiting for lessons, I began to ask for more. I ask every day. Every single day.


Here’s what happens when I ask for more. My guides cheer, get really excited and prepare to give me more, like an advanced class or something! Their energy is at such a high vibration, at times I can’t understand them. Sometimes I ask them to slow down, or please hold off, as I’m at work, or driving! But they get so excited and don’t want to slow down as they have no concept of time, work, or schedules! PLUS REMEMBER, I ASKED!! If I can’t understand, that doesn’t slow down their excitement, they’ll guide me to reach out to someone else who is at a higher vibration than I am. Almost like a tutor, a translator. Like a radio with better reception.

So, I call on one of my teachers. Farrah, Nora, Kristie, Fania, Monica, all in Florida or Sharon and Tootsie in Chicago.

My guides will give me a name. They will actually tell me which one of my teachers has the information for me.

Or they will go to that person with a higher vibration, and that person will be told to relay a message to me. We are ultimately all led to each other for guidance.

When I need the big guns, they will tell me to call Debbie, a medium with an incredibly high and strong vibration. Debbie is a dear friend of mine and also lives in Chicago.

So I call Debbie.

Here’s how our conversation begins:

Debbie: “Hello, my friend. I knew you’d be calling me. I just asked how you were doing. Glad you heard me”.

I will then proceed to ask Debbie what I need to know. It’s like I ask her to translate the vibration, and because hers is so high, she can easily decipher that level of communication. Debbie will then dial up.

Debbie will proceed to tell me everything they want me to know, what they want me to work on, what they want me to understand. I will write everything down, as fast as I can, as Debbie is speaking as fast as they are, but relaying in a language I can understand. This is ultimately how mediums work.

Even in a language or vibration I can understand, the information at this point is usually over my head. I’m usually saying, “Huh? Can you repeat that? Whattttt?”, and there are usually tears on my end. Of course. I’m in awe of the process.

Debbie explains and explains what they want me to know, what is expected of me to understand, and won’t hang up until I understand what work I have to do. It’s like we’re in the middle of a construction site, standing on top of golden gems and priceless riches. Debbie won’t do the digging for me, but instead tells me what kind of shovel I’ll need and what riches are awaiting me to ultimately ascend to a higher level.

The last time we spoke, a couple of weeks ago, and we went through this process, and boy, there was a lot. I had asked for a lot, in my prayers and communication with my guides, and of course, my nightly prayers to God.

My conversation with Debbie was as amazing as ever. A lot of information, a lot of tears, but more than anything, a lot of love.

When we were ready to hang up Debbie said, “Wow, you asked for a lot my friend.”

It’s what I always tell my best friends, MaryAnn and Pearl.


That’s become our motto, on little post-it notes, hung up on our fridges.

See, my guides won’t let me write anything in this blog until I understand it. You can google any subject on my blog and get thousands of answers. But my blog must be about my truth, my lessons, my journey, what I’ve learned, what I’m to share.

So, back to judgements, the topic of this blog.

In the last couple of years, I’ve been working hard on non-judgement. When someone is driving too slowly in front of me, I no longer make the negative comments I used to make, or give them the “look” as I pass them. When a car cuts me off, and zooms around me, I no longer use the colorful words I would have used in the past. When I’m driving 60 miles an hour and someone is doing 80, weaving in and out of traffic, I no longer wish him harm later down the road. (Come on, we’ve all done it). Instead I pray he’s not on his way to a hospital, or that he’s just received horrible news, and is rushing home. I just don’t judge.

I stopped judging what people wear, or how they wear it. I look at a person with a body covered in tattoos and now see the beauty, the art.

When I watch any entertainment news show, I no longer judge celebrities for getting married again, getting divorced again, gaining weight, losing weight, cutting their hair, or using hair extensions. I just don’t judge.

I’ve been working hard on not judging my family, my friends, or anyone I come in contact with.

I know it’s hard, it’s such a habit we get into. Judge, criticize and blame others.

I simply stopped. I stop the thought, and re-route it to love.

I’m learning the process of clearing my mind of negative thoughts about people, places and things. Like cleaning out a closet, attic or garage of old items that don’t serve me. Out with the old negative thoughts, make way for the new positive thoughts of love and joy.

If a judgement or negative thought enters my thoughts, I simply stop the thought and replace it. Period, done, move on.

If and when it happens again, lather, rinse, and repeat.

When I came out and decided to be honest about my gift, I received so much love and support. At the same time, I did receive some judgement.

I had to learn to not judge others who were judging me.

Don’t judge the judges.

Not easy to do, but so crucial.

I ultimately needed to stop judging myself. I needed to accept myself, forgive myself for my mistakes and my judgements. Done, period, move on.

I had to look in the mirror, sans make up, and stop making that face I made. I had to love myself, as God created me. Why did I look at myself in the mirror and make a face at what God created, yet smile and accept the person MAX FACTOR or LADY CLAIROL created?


Sounds crazy, but we all do it.

My belief is God doesn’t care if we get on His case. He doesn’t care if we get mad at Him, or even yell at Him. He’s got big shoulders. What He does mind is when we judge. Especially when we judge ourselves. He cares if we walk by that mirror and judge the person in the mirror. The person He created out of love. But He also forgives us for our judgements.

We have to do the same.

Stop judging ourselves for judging ourselves.

Stop judging others for judging us.

Stop judging others for what they do, say or how they act.

Everybody is on their own journey.

Dig a little deeper and truly find the joy and love within ourselves and ultimately others.

As Debbie has taught me, “It’s all about love my friend, only love. Be love. Be like God.”

I hear Debbie’s voice in my head every day. Teaching me, guiding me, inspiring me, helping me ascend my vibration and my soul.

I have some great teachers. Everyone is my teacher. I want to teach and share all they have taught me. It’s that simple.

I was at work yesterday. I judged a guest. Several of us did. One of my co-workers took over this particular guest, and a huge issue. Instead of judgement, she treated this man with tolerance and patience. I watched her in awe. For hours. Literally hours. She took deep breaths often, then returned to the situation. Afterwards I told her how proud I was of her. This morning I reached out to her again and thanked her for the lesson she taught me about judgement, tolerance and patience. She made a difference to that person, and to all of us who witnessed this amazing lesson in non-judgement.

Thank you Stephanie for being a great teacher.

Thank you for the lesson, for the experience.

Thank you Debbie, Sharon, Farrah, Nora, Kristie , Fania and Tootsie. Thank you to all that teach me every day.

Thank you to my kids, Michael and Anthony in Chicago. Your love and support overwhelms me. Thank you to my daughter Gina, who is so gifted in her own right, she doesn’t even realize it yet. (I can’t be in Gina’s room more than a few minutes as she has so many spirits in there, poking me!) Thank you for always seeing things so clearly, having such faith in me and not judging me. Thank you for loving me and supporting me through this journey. Thank you to my brothers and sister-in-laws. Especially Leslie for always being there for me, and loving me through everything. Again, never judging me, but instead demonstrating never ending patience and love. I am in awe.

I’m working hard. Working hard on all aspects of my life and seeing the world through eyes of joy and love, CHOOSING only joy and love.

The view is breathtaking.

Can’t wait to see what’s next, up higher.

Gonna get me getting a bigger ladder.



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